December 3


Our view maybe different but in the end we have the same goal.

By Lisa Holmes

December 3, 2018

Our view maybe different but in the end we have the same goal. To love and be loved.

How we love others may not be the way they want or need to be loved. HOW others love us may not be the way we need or wish to be loved.

Even though our ultimate goal is to love unconditionally and to be loved unconditionally, unfortunately we can neither attain or sustain this state.  

The road to unconditional love is unattainable because of the human conditions we put on our love.
Our endeavours to obtain unconditional love are constantly marred by the different needs and expectations we desire from the ones we love and their expectations and desires of us. This keeps us in a constant state of conditional love.

“What is unconditional love really? It is Absolute Equal Acceptance.”
- Lisa Holmes

What is unconditional love really? It is Absolute Equal Acceptance.

Herein lies the conundrum.  Absolute Equal Acceptance is elusive and will continue to be until all the conditions we put on the ones we love are satisfied or no longer exist. Our love will remain conditional until we can withdraw our conditions.

Ask yourself the question, "What is love? " What constitutes love is different to everyone, and whether we are loved or loving is entirely dependant on our conditions that we place on each offering and exchange.

Love is actually determined through beneficial and non-beneficial Emotion Reactionary Behavioural Conditions, none of them constant or guaranteed. Our love for others and their love for us is marred by the different needs and expectations we desire from them and visa versa.

I am not suggesting that we don’t love with all our hearts to the best of our ability. I am suggesting that we don’t love unconditionally.

For some, love is driven by the fear of loss, so the devotion we have for this person is driven by an imminent feeling we may lose them.

For others, love is driven by responsibility. They feel they owe that person.  “I brought you into this world.”  “I love you so I am responsible for your happiness and achievements and I will do everything I can to bring them about." This works well if the expectations are similar for both.

Others feel that if someone loves you, they owe you  everything. This can be a very one sided exchange.

All three of these spectrums of love are conditional, so how can we expect to receive unconditional love if we are not capable of offering it?

What holds the connection of LOVE in action is the need to gain the unconditional acceptance of others and their need to receive ours, yet we are not willing to offer complete acceptance nor do we know how too and likewise, others are not able to offer the same. 

For now, Unconditional love remains an elusive ideal.

©2018 Lisa Holmes 2018 / My Brilliance

About the author

Lisa Jane Holmes is an Emotion Strategist dedicated to sharing her discovery of the Brilliance phenomenon within. Lisa is the chief architect, innovator, author and teacher of BRILLIANCE® Emotion Therapy and The BRILLIANCE® Principle, and co founder of My Brilliance P/L.

Her life’s work is dedicated to the delivery, teaching and personal pursuit of Absolute Equal Acceptance through Thought, Conscience and Reunion, through BRILLIANCE® concepts and methodology and BRILLIANCE® Products and Services.

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