The greatest of all human drives is for ACCEPTANCE.
Acceptance for ourselves and for the ones we love, from our community, and most importantly, from our own family.
Everyone wants the best for their child, but when we drive for acceptance, sometimes the emotive needs of our child may be overlooked.
Familial acceptance holds for us the greatest value of all and is the hardest to gain and retain which makes it so important to nurture.
We seek approval from our family for ourselves and for our children, the ones that we hold nearest and dearest, to keep them safe from REJECTION.
As our child excels in their various talents we feel proud. Our child gains our acceptance, and through their excellence we gain acceptance for being a good parent. “You must be doing something right to have a child so talented.”
But what if our child loses interest in that one thing they do so well? What if they don't want to continue?
So much time and effort has been invested, and through this success we have gained much acceptance from family and friends.
Our child is about to sabotage our acceptance from family, friends and community. Their failure now becomes OUR failure. Through our disappointment, intentional or not, we may withdraw our acceptance from our child.
We usually parent as we have been parented.
If we felt ACCEPTED in the process or method we felt value in the outcome, so we nurture in the same way.
“I was great at ballet. Dancing was a great experience in my life. My daughter will dance too. She will be better than me.”
When our child rejects our expectation – disappointment prevails.
If we felt REJECTED in the process or method we felt no value in the outcome, so it was shrouded with resentment.
“I always wanted to dance. I never had the opportunity. I missed out so I will do what it takes to give it to you. I know what’s best for you. You will thank me when you are old enough to recognise the value of this gift.”
When our child doesn’t thank us, resentment prevails which over time manifests into bitterness.
If we parent to right our parent’s rights or wrongs as we feel it, it will come at the detriment of our child’s fulfillment.
What if your child misses out on their purpose while trying to live yours?