November 13, 2015

What is happily ever after?

What is happily ever after?

What draws us to another to partner?

Why do we gravitate toward similar people over and over again when we have cause to avoid them?
Why does it feel so right when all the signs tell us otherwise?
Why do others see ‘it’ before we do?

It all begins here….

Attraction is drawn by similarity, which lulls us into a state of acceptance. ‘This person has something I like’.

"We both want lots of children.”

“We both like to travel.”

 “We both have the same religious beliefs”.

“We’re both hard workers.'"

Sometimes the attraction is strong enough to overcome beliefs and behaviours that differ from ours and we accept things we would reject from others. In most cases where the acceptable marginally out weights the unacceptable, the foundation for ‘Happily Ever After’ is shaky from the start.

On meeting a prospective ACCEPTABLE we assess the candidate. Even if we don’t give it much thought, in the back of our minds we seek out, hone in, hook up and settle down with our Attraction Check List.

Our Attraction Check List, may seem to accommodate eventual full blown attraction, to achieve ‘Happily Ever After’, but the interpretation of the particulars are our own and may differ vastly from your candidates.

Ok. What does that mean? In this scenario, what we feel as everlasting may be but an interlude to your partner, but to you if feels like forever.

“Our Attraction Check List is driven by Past Life Atonement, a soul deep emotive requirement that must be appeased this lifetime....”

- LIsa Holmes

Our Attraction Check List is driven by a Past life Atonement, a soul deep emotive requirement that must be appeased this lifetime, which ultimately drives our attraction and takes priority.

If our Past life Atonement is Infidelity caused by behaviour we caused such as hurt or despair then our soul reminds us that we must atone. How? In this lifetime we could be faithful to a fault and expect this from others, especially our partner. In this lifetime we therefore judge others harshly who choose this behaviour. We therefore seek a partner that holds fidelity in the highest regard.

Like attracts like.


The person we attract will hold the same Past Life Atonement.


Infidelity may be the element of attraction as this is the Past Life Atonement to be appeased. Thus we are attracted to people that have the same emotive priority.

We may attract a person that seeks Past Life Atonement for infidelity who feels the same way as us. “I will always be faithful at any cost.”

We may attract a person that has the same Past Life Atonement who chooses not to atone and continues to be unfaithful.

We may attract a person that has all the good intention of Past Life Atonement but finds the rewards are not enough to atone and falls back into old behavioural habits.

Whether the eventual outcome is a partner that wishes to atone for Infidelity or someone that does not, the initial pull of attraction of a Past Life Atonement feels the same. The element for both is Infidelity and that is the attraction.

This is why a gut feeling of knowing is just the recognition of an identical Past Life Atonement. What the outcome will be is up to the individual.

This is why Happily Ever After eludes, because its boundaries and conditions change as we do.

We will keep attracting the same and continue to be deceived by the feeling that overshadows all else, if we do not take the opportunity to renegotiate. If we live in hope that things will stay the same or that things will change we will continue in the emotive loop of the past.

We all change. Reassess your choices often. What we negotiated with self or others with our first Attraction Check List may need to be updated often so both parties have the opportunity to adjust to the changes life presents.

Don’t hold onto the past, create a new future every day and expectation and disappointment will last only as long it takes to renegotiate.

©2009 Lisa Holmes / My Brilliance

Related Posts

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The Brilliance Phenomenon Within

Marriage is a contract that needs to be renegotiated often, as what we expected from it absolutely changes with the ups and downs that life presents.

Unconditional Love

Lisa Holmes


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